MELISSALAND

“While dressing and preparing to go out, she thought of Ben’s story about the time he ate the best cassoulet on earth in a small village in southern France. The name of the town was Castelnaudary. He pronounced the name so beautifully when telling the story that German made him repeat it twice just so she could hear the catch and roll of the word in his voice. She didn’t want to think about him now but that was almost impossible. Joy, real joy, comes so rarely in life that we mourn the death of it a long time. In the beginning of their relationship she had said to him, ‘Where have you been? It feels like I’ve been holding my breath for years, but now I can finally let it out.’

“They were lying naked on the couch when she said this. To her great surprise and consternation, Ben got right up, walked into the kitchen, and started making her cassoulet for the first time. When she entered the room a few minutes later, bewildered by his having disappeared from her arms just like that, he started describing Castelnaudary and the time he had eaten this dish there. His back was to her while he spoke. When he turned, she saw that his eyes were filled with tears but he was smiling. “This is the greatest meal in the world, German. I have to make it for you right now. It’s the best way I know how to show how I feel about you.”

from THE GHOST IN LOVE by Jonathan Carroll